So earlier today I took a brief nap. During this nap I had a very strange and erotic dream that kind of disturbs me a bit. It goes something like this.
I go to visit a friend of mine. (This friend is really just an acquaintance in waking hours). It started off as a normal visit. We sit, conversate, watch movies and laugh at stupid shit. After a few drink in the dream this friend and I start having sex. Not just normal get to it sex. But highly erotic, everything you could think of AWESOME sex.
During our sexual escapade, Mark is standing outside the front door listening. He then burst in with a tear streaked face and started masturbating while crying uncontrollably. He is screaming at us and while he is doing this he is still being ignored despite his cries and behavior. We continue to fuck until all is done, satisfied and tired. Mark then is as my knees crying, asking why and if everything could be fixed. I tell him no its too late.
All of a sudden during these words being spoken a million cats fill up the house and start scratching us all to death, tearing at our flesh and hissing.
What the fuck? This dream disturbs me in many ways for some reason. One. I'm not a floozy so I just don't fuck whoever. The person in the dream is a friend but not one I have ever looked at in that way. Its a surprise as I usually don't have many erotic dreams...and when I do it usually is someone I am smitten on. Not some random guy in my circle of friends.
Another is Mark's behavior and just his part in the dream in general. I would not do him this way, and it is something that has never crossed my mind is to be so cold toward him. I have thought about going out and getting mine since we are no longer, but I still haven't for the fact of I would feel like a horrible cheating person even if I wasn't technically cheating. Also is just the masturbating in general. Is this guilt in the dream in my part for not fucking him for the past several months? I would think this to be counter productive on the "not a couple" situation. I don't know.
Then the cats is just weird. I love cats. Why were they so violent and the numbers of them many? Just strange.
I need therapy.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
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