Smile.

So today while I was at work I waited on a regular customer.  During the past several visits to the store this particular customer has nicely complimented me on various things about me like the hats I wear, the fact I'm usually friendly, my smile and I have pretty eyes.  He told me every time he walks in I make his day singing while working and smiling.  He's a nice guy, I'd say early 40's and not a bad looking man but not really my type so to speak.  Anyhoo, he comes in today to buy his cigarettes and a soda, grabs one of the fresh roses we keep on the counter and I ring him up.  After I take his money he hands me the rose and tells me that was for making his day with my smile.  It was really sweet and made my day and I was happy to have made his day too.  Little things.

After coming home and settling down, I realize I need to run to the dollar store to grab toilet paper and trash bags before Mark has to be at work.  I go to the store and while talking with the cashier who is a friend of mine, she was telling me a story about one of her kids and I laughed.  A gentleman was standing next to me waiting his turn to be checked out himself, compliments me on my smile.  I turned and say thank you and he proceeded to tell me I had stunning eyes.  I must of blushed horribly while thanking him as he laughed at my modesty.  I must add this man was not a bad looking fellow either.  Today was a win.

I don't take compliments and nice gestures well. I also don't usually like to be hit on, but then again it sucks to NEVER be hit on either.( Must be a woman thing) I don't get compliments often from generally nice attractive people..its usually from people whom are drunk or drug influenced, desperate or a good friend or family member.   Not saying I don't have some nice qualities about my personality or some nice features, but I'm not one that stops one in their tracks when eyes are laid upon me.  When standing next to other females within my own circle of friends or out and about period, I'm never usually the first to be hit on, looked at or talked to by those I consider out of my league...cause normally they are...that being said I'm never the first to be talked to or hit on by those in or below my league either.  Not that it never happens...just not often. It kind of sucks and my self image is shitty...for a reason.  I still have pimples like I'm 12, am over weight and oddly proportioned.  I walk like and dress like a man half the time.   I'm a little strange (ok...thats putting it mildly..I can be highly strange) and somewhat odd and intimidating in my looks.  When I do get hit on, people seem to always see the same thing, Either its my eyes and more crudely my boobs.  It gets old after a while.  I sometimes think...damn...I have nothing else going for me at all and I would hate for them to see me naked or I don't have any other feature of any quality at all.   So...today was a nice change for others thinking otherwise. It was nice for not one but two people to say something a little different for a change.  :)

I have tomorrow off work.  I plan on going and getting my hair cut and nails done.  I haven't for a while and its long past due.  I may dye my hair too.  I look alright with red hair...I just hate keeping up with it and usually dye my hair back to black after so long.  Maybe it will help boost my self esteem...who knows. If not sometimes its nice to just be a girl for a day...even if your bad at it.

Side note... E liked red hair on women. : /  Sigh. 

This post was incredibly pointless...but hey..it still helps...