Breathe.

Today is better.  I got up early and went into work to do some stuff I wasn't able to get done during normal working hours.  I tend to do this often because I don't want to be bothered by customer while trying to get stuff done.  It ends up being less stress in my life and an excuse to also just get out of the house to laugh with my co workers.  I cleaned shelves and talked about inappropriate subjects with Tammy and Anthony.  Twas fun and I love them to bits.  I can honestly say that although Go Mart can be a pain.  I love my job and the people I work with.  I have made good friends while there including E himself and enjoy what I do for the most part.  I'm just now starting to get used to the idea of E never being there when I come in.  When ever I work with someone that doesn't know how to entertain me or is lame I find myself missing him a lot.  We both used to listen to a lot of music or comedy, I still do this..but after a while I turn it off.  My Pandora has a habit now of playing a lot of songs he would listen to..which is weird because before it would only play shit we both didn't like. It amuses me a bit before I become sad.  After I get over it I turn it back on and enjoy it again. I still would like a new place to work, but maybe it will be ok after some time. Its a process. 

I talked to him last night and today.  I feel better knowing he is just being him, not angry with me like I ignorantly thought.  Thinking the worst and jumping to conclusions has always been a bad habit of mine.  I'm working on it.  Needless to say I feel much better. :)  I miss and love him dearly. 

Mark had the idea today that we should take the kids out even though its cold.  We are taking them to Micky D's play place...somewhere I actually hate but the kids love.  Its a win.  I only hate it cause I want to play and I really am too big to.  That sucks.

I'm  breathing.  I'm somewhat healthy.  I'm alive and my children are fine.  Positivity.