Happy Halloween everyone!

Well as the title states. Happy Halloween! Today happens to be my fave holiday of the year mainly because I love to dress up as something disgusting without bad looks..lol. Antoher reason since I've had Breanna I can dress her up, which to me is more fun than dressing and blooding up myself. This year to go trick or treating she went as the queen of hearts. She was adorable and I was quite proud because I made her costume do to lack of cash. The people giving out candy got a kick out of her because of her cuteness and the originality of the costume so it was a hit. I myself went as a deranged little red riding hood mainly because i have a red hoody and its

all I could come up with..lol. We went around in our neightborhood this year trick or treating. Normally everyone in town goes to a certain area ( the richy riches around here of course) to get candy but Mark had to work therefore giving us no ride to go. Last year it was like a fucking parade, I swear hundreds maybe even thousands of tick or treaters were there begging for candy. So to be said I was afraid that no one would be giving out candy in our neighborhood due to the fact everyone goes to the rich area. It turned out it was a better idea anyways. There were still alot of trick or treaters for Breanna to enjoy the costumes, it was close to home so I didn't have to worry about carrying a diaper bag, and she actually got 3 times the amont of candy than she did last year. So in the end we had a blast. Here are some pictures of the event.

Take notice that she is a little pissy about not leaving yet..lol.

Me in the bathroom after getting myself ready. I know i have great tits ;D

The both of us.

Us out trick or treaing. THe house we are at did not hesitate when it came to decorating..lol

well then...

i am now officially a "Floridian"...Ive been putting it off for almost 2 years to get a Florida state ID..finally did yesterday...only reason being i have to in order to prove I'm a Florida resident for the devil's advocates ( department of children and families AKA welfare )...i was supposed to take breanna back to the doctor today to get her shots but due to laziness and exhaustion from the beginning of this week already i canceled...i have alot to do today as it is without having to hurry to make sure everything is done before mark has to be at work at 4 this afternoon. ill reschedule tomorrow. anyhow today i have to drop all my life info at welfare..something i hate doing..i hate living off the state..mark and i never had to before and its still taking me some time to get used to..before we always had money to take care of our bills, food to eat and insurance from his work to pay for medical bills... hopefully i can find a job and him a better job so we don't have to do this for long....on to other news..breanna is talking ALOT now..she is now saying full sentences and larger words...I'm so proud of her i could burst...i find it particularly cute when she says she likes something... example would be "mommy i like movie" or " momma i like gummies" ...it makes my heart melt and pride just wants to explode from my chest...right now I'm trying to teach her the basics of colors numbers and letters...once she gets the hang of those i want to start teaching her how to read....she loves being read to but doesn't seem interested in her "children's" books...so i have taken the liberty of reading her the Narnia and harry potter books at night before bed...even though there are not any pictures she still seems to like them more than her books...i can see it now..my child is going to be class A nerd like her daddy and mommy :)... yesterday i took her outside in the backyard...she has been doing this for awhile but it still amazes me what its like for children to explore and see things through their eyes... she makes me feel like a child myself and for that i am grateful..it is the time a day when all stress seems to melt away ( that is until we go back inside and all reality comes rushing back in like a wave) "sigh" i want another baby for breanna to have a playmate..but do to financial disability at the moment it would be a horrible idea...breanna is just going to have to make due with phoenix at the moment :)...speaking of kitty's "sebastian" seems to have either found a home or someone called a shelter and took him away..i have not seen him since the day we gave him a name..im actually kind of sad about it...oh well...maybe he just likes to be called "cat" and we have offended him in ome way...lol
I must say even with all the stress going on at the moment about money and the stupid shit i have had to do to make sure my kid is taken care of..things at home have been alright..mark and i seem to appreciate each other more since i went away for a month to see my family up north. we have civil conversations, sex is great and we actually smile at each other again..its a feeling i have missed for a long time...im sure the newness will wear off eventually as it does when you have been with someone for a long time, but at the moment i am enjoying it and hopefully mark is too...i really do love him and i know he loves breanna and me..just do to all the ignorant bullshit before it was just hard....seems like things will be better :)
anyhow..i think this concludes my post for now..until next time

new kitty, to do list

well i have my baby phoenix as you know that ive posted in a previous blog...i think my fiance mark is on his way to adopting another cat. there has been a stray kitten running around our area these days. he is a handsome short hair that is black with white feet whom i would say is about 10 - 12 weeks old at most. we have been feeling sorry for the little fella because he is such a sweetie therefore we have been feeding it. mark has named him sebastian..a sure sign of awww poor kitty lets keep him...uh no thanks...not in the house anyways..i dont mind naming him cause i thought about it myself instead of just saying here cat or here stray...lol...but we will not let it in the house.i cannot at this time afford to take it to the vet for shots, neutering, ect just so it can be in the house...nope..but it still looks like we have a new "outdoor" kitty. if in the future the cat is still hanging around and i run into some money, i'll take sebastian to the vet to get him what he needs then maybe just maybe he can be an indoors cat afterwards...time can only tell what is instore for our little feline friend :)

on to the next topic of the day...

i have SOOOO much to do in a short amount of time (by the 29th) its causing my head to spin...to make it easier for me im going to make a list and post it on here since i seem to check this or get on at least once a day. all the stuff i have to do SEEMS simple..but its not when ou DONT have a printer ( lame i know) and have to go th library or somewhere that lets me do it for FREE since im a broke hoe. so here goes.

- get new state ID
-call my case worker about my medical care and foodstamp info for MORE info that i need
-print out bills and bank statements from the past 6 weeks
-fill out a verification of employment form
-make a copy of my lease, bills, and bank statements
-make a copy of my vehicle information
-make copies of mark's check stubs
-take breanna to the doctor's office for shots on wednesday at 10am
-go drop off all the printed bullshit and the rest of my life info at the department of children and families ( aka devil's advocates )
-go to michaels craft store to see about possible employment ( hopefully)
-call every doctor, insurance company, or who knows who else about an eye doctor for breanna ( it seems as though there is only one doctor in the state of florida that takes children under the age of 6 and he DOES NOT take her insurance..go figure)
-call every doctor and dentist in the phone book for mark and i to see who takes our insurance so we can be healthy again..lol ( i HAVE to get this tooth yanked out if not ill surely go insane and commit multiple homicide..also need to see about birth control, woman problems and mental issues..YAY)
-rob a bank ( i wish)
- try to find another phone company since all my stuff is going to be shut off by the 28th for lack of money therefore lack of payments
-find a job find a job find a job
-call landlord about a rent recept for the past 3 months
- when all is said and over with buy a bottle of jager, find a bottle of valiums and be happy :)

hahaha funny

i was browsing the oh so famous myspace when i ran into a bulletin that made me laugh..mostly and sadly because it is true. here ya go enjoy..lol

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission.Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' (For the woman's response refer to # 3.

this made me laugh..while i was reading i couldn't help but think back to all the times i have done this to mark ( with good reason i should add) which to me is funny...hey man he has is little smart remarks as well..i think ill come up with a list of phrases myself and post it..lol
i cant help and think back though on the many many conversations i have had with friends about us and our men or vice versa..i must say men DO take advantage of the fact that we women take care of everything around the house without much bitching ( yea we do have our days...but come on guys how often do you get on your hands and knees to clean around toilets, scrub at YOUR shit stained underwear, scrub carpets, or clean out the fridge? all the while we do these tasks we are taking care of screaming hyper children who want every second of our attention) i think we women have a right to bitch a little when it comes to us taking care of kids, taking care of the house, cooking and most of us still work ( not me at the moment BUT am looking)..in your defense i will say you guys ( that are not lazy bums anyways) do work hard to provide for our families and do the occasional labor around the house..but just take the time to think about how our jobs are 24/7 where as yours ends after 8 to 10 hours. anyways thus concludes my blogs for the night i think...until next time my friends.

bitch and moan....

OK the past few days have been a struggle to keep my sanity...to start off with our car broke down..mark is at his brothers house trying to fix it...lets hope it does get fixed..without a car mark has no job..with no job means no money...no money means us living in garbage bins which to me is NOT attractive. we struggle as it is with money and are WAYYY behind on bills right now without it making it worse..the economy sucks right now and haven't been able to find a job to help out...anyhoo on with it...i checked the mail today..got more bills that i cant pay and also a notice from the department of children and families saying we are up for review and they needs all this proof about our income in order to receive medical care for breanna and for food stamps..i hate having to live off the state and the loops they make you jump through here in the state of Florida is fucking retarded.so now i have to get all of our income together, bills, i also have to renew my ID, ect...all by the 30Th..OK NOT cool..they could have at least gave me 2 or 3 weeks instead of what 6 days?..yea not happy about it. breanna has been more hyper and whatnot than usual which has been grating my nerves to almost nothing...she had her 2 year doc appointment today..i had to take the bus which always sucks major ass..its always dirty on them and i hate to say most of the people that ride them need to look into their personal hygiene a bit more...i lost a pack of cigarettes..the ride to and from the doctor's office was not enjoyable in the least..other wise once we got there everything turned out well except she thinks she needs glasses..Ive noticed the past few weeks she has been going cross eyed when she is concentrating on something or looking far away at the TV or certain objects..i talked about it today with the doc and she was doing while we were there...he said he is more worried about maybe her eyes are just weak..not necessarily her eye sight is bad..so he referred her to an eye doctor which i have to make an appointment with tomorrow..she also has had a kidney reflux ever since she was 6 months old ( her pee flushes back into her kidneys from her bladder when she goes to urinate instead of just going out directly) so i have to make an appointment with her urologist too just check up on t even though she has had no problems recently..she has yet another appointment next week on the 29Th to get her shots because they were out of them today..yay..soo in conclusion all these appointments need to happen BEFORE the 30Th just in case welfare wants to be assholes about stuff and decide to cut us off. ( there should be no reason why they would but..hey they have before over something stupid..the welfare system here in Florida reeks of bile...they are the most unorganized non caring people i have ever ran into my entire life..i despise them with a passion).i get home today and my house is being invaded by ants...ALOT of them...so to make it clear..I'm very annoyed today and wish i had a double shot of jager and a joint....

i realize this blog is very poorly written and i care not..im pissed off and probably make no sense what so ever

insomnia and boredom prevails....

well it is 1 30 in the morning and i am not asleep yet...these days i tend to be something of a insomniac...basically because im a momma and it seems the only time i ever get to myself is this time of night whether it be reading a book, taking one of them there bath things ive heard of ( hardy har har) or yes getting on here to do absolutely nothing except lose more brain cells. keep in mind i do this after getting breanna to bed at around 10pm if im lucky, cleaning the house afterwards of the havoc nay nay throws upon it ( you would be surprised that a 2 year old in my opinion reaks the same havoc on a home as a level 3 tornado) and tending to the needs of my fiance ( well not only HIS needs tee hee)

tonight i was reading my friends blog and she introduced in it her pet chincilla (sp?) chiru...he is adorable and has inspired me to share my cat phoenix to you lovely bloggers of the world out there. so here he is.

as you can see ( well sort of) he is a long hair black cat with a white underside to his tail ( i like to call him my reverse skunk..yea i know im lame)

he is being blinded by my camara

here is a decent piture of his tail..i love it

notice the look of discontent about being photographed..man does he fit right in the family :D

and just because my kid is awesome and adorable...here is a picture of her playing with phoenix about a month ago.

well this concludes my boredom for tonight unless i find something interesting or of worth to share with you guys..until next time

potty training 101

well now that my daughter is 2 ive started the potty training process...most of which is just trying to get nay nay to sit on it....although today im so proud she pooped for the first time in the potty..unfortunally the poop was extra sticky sort so when she went to get up after she finished it fell to the floor in a messy PLOP...oh well its still the fact that she took the time to actually sit on it and poop. so success is in the making..wish me luck fellow potty training parents out there.

birthdays, breanna, bad teeth and thank yous

well breanna's 2nd birthday was on the 11th although me and breezy were out of town for it so we just had a party for he yesterday. just something of a simple nature..ive come to the conclusion that we will have her first big party next year since it seems most people dont have their first memories until after the age of 3. we had a few gifts, cake, ice cream and the few people i know in my area. it was nice and breanna had a blast tearing apart wrapping paper and ooohing over her presents. we adults watched, laughed and chit chatted to ourselves. anyways on to the list of presents and thank yous even though no one will probably see this except for mary.

mary and jeremy- clothes. 3 outfits to be exact that are adorable :) and blueberry pancakes :)
while i was out of town they came to see me and we took the girls to the park, they bought us dinner at i hop, bought breanna the clothing and also went to see another good friend of ours andrew. it was a great day and i miss being around them alot :(

mom- clothes, a spongebob toy, and 300 bucks hard cash..momma i LOVE YOU..lol

mark's parents- books, a doll stroller, a doll, a tinkerbell bucket, stuffed bunny and a rubber duck.

marissa- radio flyer tricycle, books, stuffed animals, my little pony toy, and i cant remember what else.

aunt sandi and erin- an outfit plus they threw a small party for breanna while i was in wv.

bryan and cherie- sit n spin, a license plate for her tricycle

brittany and tyler- 2 outfits

aunt norma- 50 bucks, a memory spoon, a few stuffed animals

uncle JR and aunt chad- took us out to lunch, a toy mircophone and spent time with us

last but not least...

me and mark- a HUGE coloring book, 2 baby dolls, a play diaper bag with stuff(fake bottles, spoons, bowls, lotion, ect) in it for her baby doll, crayons, a movie, a press n dash. puzzles, clothes, and new sippy cups.

if i forgot anyone oh well you probably wont see this anyways ;)

My kid alays makes out great for her birthday and christmas...no wonder she is spoiled to the core..on a lighter note she is happy with no matter what she gets..hopefully she stays that way. i dont want her growing up not appreciating what she gets or throw fits over something she didnt get. i will NOT have a brat for a child.

anyhoo it was a good day yesterday for our little party and those who couldnt be here that i saw before hand in wv or ohio were awesome and we love you guys. i must say my family and friends i couldnt ask for better ones..so thanks everyone for everything an all the kindness you have shown me and most of all my daughter. you guys totally rock.

besides having a party though i made an unwnted trip to the ER. yay me. i woke up at 7 in the morning feeling like my head was going to explode of my shoulders. ive had a tooth ache for the past week or so. i guess it is abcessed now. once again yay me. the people at the ER were total dickheads, they didnt give me anything for pain and just basically told meto go to the dentist. ( tell me something i dont know..but hey its sunday and im not waiting when my head feels like its being beat with a shovel assholes) there was a guy next to me who just got in an accident and busted his leg to hell. they didnt even give him anything for pain. i was like WOW..ttally never coming to this hospital again. they did send me home with some antibiotics to get rid of the infection in my jaw and some vicodine. thumps up for a pill buzz ;). i went to walmart tofll the perscriptions, while waiting on them i did shopping for breanna's party and browsed around. ive had some "itchyness" in my no no area ( yea gross i know) so i was looking through the vagisil and other creams. i picked up the walmart brand and its discription of use made me giggle.
"for external use- place small amount of cream on tip of finger massaging into and around vagina for decrease itching and scratchyness" just thought i would share with you folks on that one. hopefully it made you giggle as well :D

anyways thats all i have to say for now. until next time my fellow pirates

a little about me...

1. first and for most..i am a mother of a beautiful 2 year old little girl Breanna whom i like to call breezy or "nay nay" :)

2. i have a fiance of 8 year whom i am very fond of and love.

3. i never use punctuation..get used to it cause i dont care ;)

4. ive been told im an odd individual but i like to think im the normal one

5. i have an obsession with johnny depp..not for what you think. i find him to be a kind talented soul who still seems to be human even after being in hollywood forthe past 20 years..something very rare in the entertainment business these days..that being said i appreciate the man and his movies. this same obsession is also towards his collaege tim burton.

6. i perfer independant movies, odd bands no one has heard of, and art that seems to make sense only to others like myself.

7. i have a dreadful fear of cars ( driving them mostly), spiders, bad things happening to my daughter, being alone at death, and the dark.

. i love taking pictures. mainly of my daughter and of odd objects. ( pics will be posted soon enough ;)

9. ive been told i can sing very well.i think those people have something wedged in their frontal lobe.

10. i have alot of dreams and ambitions but no drive period to go through with them..that also includes the finishing of this post..haha

now for your veiwing pleasure..pictures of my babydoll and of my oddities :D

the talk of religion....

Its been awhile since I have actually blogged about anything of worth other than ranting. For a change I'm going to actually start blogging about my thoughts and feelings about issues or current events. I do have some sort of intelligence and my past few blogs on my other channels (myspace facebook,ect) I go back and read them and they seem to make no sense or appear as childish to me. Don't get me wrong I will still rant and rave, but I'm going to try and write consistently and coherently instead of..well..word vomit.
So here is todays topic.
You ready?
Your probably going to be pissed and frankly I don't give a rats ass.
Hypocrical Christians.
Yep you heard me. Hypocritical Christians.
It has been something that has been bothering me and others for quite some time and now is the time to write about it. At least for me. I look at the world today and all seems to be in a shit hole. All you hear about is violence, rapes, whores, ect, ect. Everyone needs to have some faith and make the world a better place in any way that he/she is capable of. The human race needs each other and despite our differences we need to start getting past the issues we have with each other and standas ONE. What does this have to do with hypocritical Christians you may ask? With all this going on I hear Christians who rub their religion in others faces preaching about this or that and how it is wrong or horrible. All the while they are preaching they live their lives commiting the 7 deadly sins.(which DOES tie into the 10 commandments thank you ;) That is why I call them hypocritical Christians. Please don't rub my life and how I'm going to hell in my face just because I think, look or live my life differently when all the while your not being so "christian" youself. Doesn't it say in the Bible to love thy neighbor? Isn't part of being a Christian include having love in your heart and acceptance for others even if they think or live differently? Me and many many others out there live decent lives and are good people. Hypocritial Christians on the other hand tend to claim they are holy and then the next thing you know they are out buying a whore, gambling, ignoring their children, not teaching their children morals, humility, or not to be judgemental. Also killing others in the name of God, raping children, or commiting whatever other crimes out there that is definally not what I have been taught as "Christian." I do believe in God. I have my own ideas and beliefs of how our guy in the sky is going to judge us and how things may be. I am not going to go base my beliefs and faith on a book that has neither been proven or disproven. Thats like taking someones word for a babysitter with no reference in my eyes. That does NOT make me a bad person. If thats how you believe that is great. I'm happy for those who believe in any religion and have faith because I have tremendous faith in my idea of God. I stand by my beliefs very strongly. I love to learn about other's religions and I have a very open mind for each and every one. But please don't claim to be ANY religion for that matter then preach, and then do the exact opposite of that religion. It obviously makes you look like an ass, a liar and a hypocrite. I'm not saying you have to be a saint. No one in this world is perfect and that is God's will. It would be a pretty dull life and earth if everyone was an exact replica of A.I. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm referring to your lifestyle in general. Some people out there really need to take a good long look in the mirror and at their own life before throwing complaints, insults and hatred to others who are different. WEll this concludes my rant for the day..have a good one peeps :)

first time user

Well ladies and gentlemen...first time user..still getting used to it...i'll post a real blog later :D