I'm juvenile.

The assumptions and jumping to conclusions I have made about people ignoring me or being rude have been ridiculous and selfish. In this self inflicted depression I have lost a lot of my sense of humor and my feelings are easily hurt....for no reason.  I have assumed that some people I've annoyed too much so they weren't talking to me instead of thinking maybe they were just busy and preoccupied with other daily life errands and situations.  I've assumed that I'm disliked over being depressed. I've assumed E was annoyed with me and that he didn't care for me just because I hadn't heard from him in a few days.  I thought I was right in thinking I wasn't special in his life and was feeling completely broken and empty. I've talked to him since and that isn't the case. I'm now feeling guilty over this.  I hope I haven't angered any of my loved ones over these assumptions.  That is the last thing I want.  My insecure self needs to take a hike and I need to start thinking logically instead of child like.  After all.  I am an adult and I'm not blind or ignorant.  I need to stop acting as such.

The saying is true that no matter what the distance is from someone you care about, you still love and care about them as if they were only inches from you.  As strange of a connection it is E has on me...its a very strong one and I've never had one like it.  I'm scared to lose it.  I don't think I will.  Not a day passes I don't think of him, not once...but several times.  Most of these are happy. Laughing about stuff at work, his shows, good times and long talks.  Other times I feel so lost without him here, like a better part of myself is missing.
I heard from him last night and was thrilled.  My shotty crappy day turned into an enlightened night just by simple conversation.  It was nice to know that he also misses me.  His birthday is in 2 days.  I wish I could bake him a cake.  :)

I would travel to the moon and back if he only asks.  That is kind of scary.